September will mark the one full year that we have been trying to conceive (TTC) with my present OBGYN. When we embarked on this journey one year ago, we were full of hopes, full of faith and sure that we would be pregnant by now. In fact if I did, I would have been due last month!!! But now coming out from the one year mark, with empty arms, we realised how complicated this TTC bussiness is.... the multitude of things that can go wrong, aside from the timing, and the act itself..... boy have we grown and wised up from all this. I cannot even begin to tell you the endless disappointments month in and out when my AF(periods) appeared, how many injections and medication I had to take and how many "bloody" sticks I have peed on only to hope to see the little 2 blue lines.
So this last month, as we started out 1 year ago, is going to be our last straw. We told ourselves on the outset of this TTC journey that if by one year of trying and nothing happens we are throwing in the towel. More so to save of sanity but also to save our finances. It is not for selfishness. It is self preservation. This last straw is the ultimate , in terms of cost, treatment and of course -- emotions. The stakes are higher and the disappointment will be greater if this time the "stick" still shows a single line. I am not prepared to fail again , I may never come to terms with this, neither, may I accept it, but its time I draw a line somewhere. So that there's hope to salvage what is left of me at the end of all this.
So what tiny hope is left out there, I beg of you, whoever you are, to place your only wish today, on me - hoping that this last straw of mine is IT.
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