Monotony

On the way to work this morning, listened to 'Lite FM' and Bette Miller's "Wind beneath my wings" was playing, one of my old time theme song, so I thought to myself, hopefully today will be a good day. For the past few days been having really bad depressive swings.... dont know if I am the only one who always gets it? Initially realised about it when I was on hormonal treatment.... but even now without it, its horrible. I just realised that I am probably horrible to live with when I have these moments. My poor husband. Probably what I can think off is just frustration from the uncertainty of everything. I can say that I am definitely a creature of habit and routine and although there will be times when I will scream boredom at the routine and monotony of life but secretly deep down I draw comfort from knowing what to expect. Everything seems like a throw in the wind now. I can't tell you where I will be in the next year, yet alone how my life will be then. And the strangest thing is the most frustration I get from this is from not being able to control how my own body works....and the viciousness of this is the more I worry about this the more out of whack my body is and the more unwanted hormones are created and hence the depressive spells. Maybe I just do need a holiday but somehow just cant seem to make or find the time.
So the only way to go about this is to psyche myself that "hey I am happy and today could be a good day". So far, I managed to get through the day in that spirit, but I can feel it waning soon. Need to recharge and relax......so tomorrow when I am post call I will just do that - exercise, shop and have loads of sleep because time is just too precious!
Time's like that. Goes too fast. Slips through our fingers like grains of sand. So today, love your loved ones. Give your best at work. Go the extra mile in all you do. Speak truthfully. Live with honor. And have some fun. Because one day, your time will run out. - Robin Sharma